Bob's seen more white lines than a Sydney banker. From Coolangatta to Parramatta, if Bob ain't been there, it probably don't exist.
Before adventurin' around Australia, it pays dividends to plan ahead a little - after all, it's a big country. Bob lives his life by three simple rules:
1. Don't Hire a Car. To Bob, a car is like a snail without a shell. "Where's a man supposed to sleep?", he'd say. A real man or lady or lady-man or man-lady rides tall and proud in a campervan.
2. Stay out of Canberra. If Australia was a giant arm, Canberra would be the armpit.
3. Campervans make you more attractive. Some people couldn't get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a fistful of bananas. But you put these ugly bastards in a campervan...and they're headed to sexy street baby.